Prayers for the Deceased, the Funeral and 40 Days' Prayers

What is usually the last time a person comes to earth? When he is buried. That is why any proxy funeral is something quite abnormal. Do you understand? The person needs for his body, which has been blessed by the Holy Mysteries, to be in the temple of God, so that he might pray for one last time. In that regard, it is better to bring the body to church before the Liturgy, so that the soul of the deceased, which can hear everything, might be able to stand at the final Liturgy, and hear how people bid him farewell. Saying goodbye and asking forgiveness is necessary, as the person can actually hear it. Understand?

We kiss the body, and the soul standing nearby has to forgive. Remember, that if you die without forgiving, your road is unquestionably straight to Hades. Therefore, while you are still alive, get used to forgiving. One who does not forgive will not forgive after his death, and where he goes is also something we don't know.

-- And should we also ask forgiveness of the deceased?
Yes, and do so sincerely. This is the last opportunity to make peace with him, and therefore those who try to dispose of the body so that there be no funeral over it, etc, are behaving in a scandalous manner. Always ask that there be a funeral over the body. Proxy funerals are primarily for those who do not have a burial place - those who have perished at sea or perished in time of war, and whose whereabouts are unknown. For anyone else, holding a proxy funeral is simply abnormal. That is very important. While you are still alive, take care to see that wherever they perform your funeral, there be no abbreviation in the service. Do not be afraid to approach the priest. I can dare say that if you personally talk to him, no priest will shorten the service except in the most extreme of circumstances, e.g. if the funeral is held during Passion Week.

-- On what day is a funeral served?Prayers for the Deceased, the Funeral and 40 Days' Prayers
On the third day. As you know, there are various funeral rites: for infants, monastics, laity, priests, bishops, and deacons. There is also a special funeral rite for Pascha; that rite contains practically nothing about the repose, but only the litanies. It is simply a Paschal service

Christians, those near and dear to the deceased, should of course do him the kindness of helping wash him. After all, it is better for loved ones to show their respect for the deceased. Remember that a layperson is washed, a priest is anointed with holy oil, while monks are anointed on the lips, hands and feet. Monastics are not to be washed. Remember that the honors accorded the deceased are Christian virtues for which you will be rewarded in Heaven. Moreover, the Book of King David talks of the great reward given for burying people, especially those who have no one to bury them. There truly is a great reward from the Lord when the body is resurrected on the Last Day.

What should be done for our loved ones after their death? Immediately begin to offer as many requests for 40 day prayers as possible, so that people in as many places as possible might pray for him. It is a very good thing to offer a commemoration slip at the Athonite metochion, for commemoration on Holy Mt. Athos. You should begin to offer up commemoration slips from the very first day. You can also give them to the Jerusalem metochion for commemoration in the Holy City of Jerusalem. It is quite simple: come to the Jerusalem metochion, and you can request commemorations at the Holy Sepulcher. For Muscovites, it is quite convenient. There is a Jerusalem metochion, the Memorial Church of the Consecration of the Great Church of the Resurrection (Apostle Philipp) on the Arbat.

You need to ask your relatives to read the Psalter all the way through. Relatives should be requested to read the Psalter - at least the kathismas - over the course of 40 days. . If you have close friends, ask them to pray the appointed daily prayers for you. There have been cases of people hiring people to read the Psalter around the clock. This is also of great benefit, , for the Psalter protects you from demonic attack. It is as if prayer surrounds the person. Why is a funeral necessary? So that when the person is being taken up into the Heavens, he is protected, swaddled in the prayers of the Church. So that on that day if the rubrics allow, the Liturgy might be served.